A Tolerance for Uncertainty?

A friend of my is going through an Ultimate Test. Having known a little of that in my own life, she and I have shared some confidences and tears. She recently sent me an email and asked me how I felt about uncertainty–if it was “acceptable” to me. Here is my answer….

Of the many gifts great and small that I was sent with to this earth, the tolerance for uncertainty is one that I most treasure. It is a key to my happiness and my ability to learn effectively. So, yes: uncertainty is acceptable to me. Truth be told, I don’t know anything in the world that I’m not uncertain about in some measure. There are truths that I have an absolute certainty about, and at the same time I’m certain that I very little notion about their true meaning, depth and complexity.

It’s the difference between sheep and goats, I think. Having raised both by hand, I can say that there was a time that I thought the good Lord was out of his mind for suggesting we should be like sheep or lambs. Goats are smart, creative, inventive, clever, personable, funny, persnickety. All thing that we pride ourselves in, right? Oops. Pride. Riiiight.

Lambs are so docile and trusting that they don’t even fear fire if you’re standing next to it. They’ll walk right through it to get to you with no idea of any personal danger.

I think when we’re like goats we have no idea how stupid we are. And when we’re like sheep we’re completely dialed in on things we can trust in absolutely, without understanding them and without fearing anything that could happen to us by trusting the Master.

Goats think they know; sheep know He knows. Uncertainty is perhaps just the limbo between picking a side–or maybe the first step toward walking through the fire to safety.

xoxo rd

Sacrament Meeting Does That.

Source: PreparedNotScared.Blogspot

I remember when I was very small—maybe four or five, sitting on a cushioned chapel bench and staring up into Mama’s face during the Sacrament prayer. Her face looked very serious, and her lips moved in sync with the words the priest spoke. Always. I asked her why she did that. She told me it helped her think about the words that were being spoken. As she sat with her head bowed and eyes closed throughout the passing of the bread and water, I thought about the words she had spoken.

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Parenting Programs: Are There Quick Fixes?

 

What if I walked out to my back yard in February, and planted a kernel of corn? Then, the same afternoon, went to check on it, and the kernel had not turned into corn on the cob yet? Would I be disappointed? Certainly not. Each time I passed by the little spot where I planted the piece of grain, I would become excited and look forward to each stage of development in the life of the corn plant.

Why then, as parents, do we come home with a kernel of wisdom and expect the full fruit to happen that very day? The answer is simple enough. We care a lot, we have invested a lot, and we are often desperate for a change. We have all felt this desperation in one form or another. This desperation comes from our circumstances and from our love.

When You Want Freedom, You Get Change.

My main goals as a parenting teacher are to help people become free from that desperation, to feel the freedom which comes from Continue reading

Learning Good Behaviors: Teaching In The Family

My good friend, Jodie Palmer, sent me this cute anecdote which happened when they were role playing the Four Basic Skills with their children. 

“Our family has been playing the “instruction game” in the evenings before bed. We take turns giving each other instructions and then following them. Of course we have lot’s of clapping and celebrating as everyone completes their instruction with an “I did it!” The other evening daddy gave our 2-year old son an instruction to give his 4-year old sister a big hug. Usually, an enthusiastic completer of instructions, he scrunched up his little face and said, “I’ll take a consequence.”

 

I am so impressed with this story for a multiple reasons. Continue reading

My Child Won’t Listen To Me: Parenting Tips

 

Recently I was part of a large tele-summit for families where I gave a one hour class highlighting many of the parenting principles I teach. Here is a link to the free companion cards I discussed on the call. http://teachingselfgovernment.com/form/free-companion-implementation-cards 

During this summit I had many many questions sent to me and didn’t have time on the call to answer them all, so I am going to answer one of those questions today.

Question:

“I have a daughter who frequently rages and manipulates. She is out of control almost as often as she is in control. Continue reading