Author Archives: Ben Pratt

About Ben Pratt

I am married to a brilliant and lovely woman. Remarkably, our union has produced three brilliant and lovely daughters! We enjoy reading, going for walks and bike rides, and Friday night pizza picnics in the family room. Descended from Parley P. Pratt (founding editor of this blog's namesake), Charles Henry Wilcken, Zachariah Bruyn Decker, Jesse N. Smith, Frederick G. Williams, and a host of farmers, missionaries, colonizers, businessmen, and pilots, I was raised in Chandler, AZ. I have degrees in physics from both Brigham Young University (BS) and the University of Washington (MS). I earn my filthy lucre teaching physics, mathematics, and fine arts at a public charter school in Mesa, AZ.

Bringin’ Down the (Lord’s) House

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I wipe the sweat from my brow on the sleeve of the white jumpsuit. The red smear left behind on the sleeve is unexpected. Leaving the hammer drill on the partially-tiled floor, I stand up to look in the large mirror on a nearby wall. Sure enough, there’s a tiny nick on my forehead. I step around another brother dressed in white to reach the box of tissues concealed beneath a cover of white yarn on a matrix of plastic. Satisfied that the bleeding has stopped, I adjust my earplugs, grab the Hilti, and continue tearing up the tiles of the baptistry.

The evening hasn’t gone quite as I anticipated.

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Official Bendanian History

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Note: Of the numerous micronations extant toward the end of the 20th century, few reached the same depths of obscurity and irrelevance achieved by Bendania, which consisted of the bedroom shared by two young brothers. I offer this historical document (with very little emendation, minor formatting changes appropriate for the new medium in which it is presented, some redaction and substitution of only limited consequence in order to protect the innocent, and rare clarifying comments) with the hope that it may shed additional light on some humorous attitudes prevalent among certain populations in the era under question.  -Editor


Official Bendanian History

prepared by E. B. W. Pratt, National Historian

July 4, 1776

  • The United States of America founded by some good guys.

April 6, 1830

  • Churchia founded by The King, through His Servant Joseph.

December 28, 1977

  • “Dad” and “Mom,” both dual citizens of the USA and Churchia, found The Pratt Family (hereafter TPF).

[redacted], 1980

  • Benjamin Wilcken Pratt born in the USA, near Churchian University. Raised in Churchia.

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Hymnstogram 2009

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Among the duties of my calling as the Ward Music Director, I have the responsibility to recommend and conduct “the congregational hymns for sacrament meetings.” Until now, as per an understanding between myself and the Ward Music Chairman, I have not recommended any particular hymns for her consideration. That is about to change. After an extensive data-gathering period and a bit of analysis, I am now prepared to make some recommendations.

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Nailed it

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Last week my daughters (ages 7 and almost-5) and I set up to play a game of Lord of the Rings Risk. The 7-year-old rarely shares events of the day without any prodding, but as we were finally playing Risk on Sunday evening, she turned to me and said, “Today in class I accidentally called the Terrestrial Kingdom ‘Middle-Earth.’ My teacher said ‘Congratulations, that’s from Lord of the Rings!’ and gave me a high five.”