People often ask me how to be calm when someone else isn’t. Without calmness self-government is impossible. In part 2 of 3 parts on the Family Voice Talk Radio with family therapist, BJ Stober we talked about calmness and answered many parenting questions.
Here is a link to the video recording of the show.
Next week the show will be about making a successful family government structure. Continue reading
I know this post is a little bit unusual, but I thought you would like it. This is a 1 hour interview about parenting on a B.Y.U. radio station.
BJ Stober, family therapist and hostess of Family Voice Talk Radio, interviewed Nicholeen Peck on April 19, 2012 about strict parenting. This is a link to the audio/video version of the show.
Nicholeen discussed different ways to parent and how what to focus on in order to break bad parenting habits.
Be sure to listen for the 10 Things Parents Need To Know to teach their children self-government. Continue reading
“My 2 year old has started crying a LOT the past few days. Over every little thing. Nothing is different physically or environmentally that I can tell. He already has his 2yo molars, too.. He’s just been crying about everything that he doesn’t like, with some pretty good tantrums thrown in the mix of the average crying. I tried holding him in timeout (he’s never stayed in time out on his own so far), but he screamed and threw a serious tantrum the whole time.. which wouldn’t be a problem for me except that I have to take care of the other kids, too! I tried holding him in our time-out spot until he was done with the tantrum so I could praise him for being happy, etc., but after 40 minutes of continuous screaming, my baby was also crying, needing to be fed, and the other young kids had destroyed the basement. At that point I just took him to his bed to finish his crying fit. So I’m thinking the holding in time out option might not work for us. Yesterday and today I’ve started just taking him to his room when he starts having a breaking down crying fit. What would you suggest? Do you think I should just take him to his room every time he cries? Or should I try to comfort him out of crying (but not give him what he was crying for)? I get mixed up in the tough love area – is it better to just have an automatic consequence, or is that cold for a crying 2yo? Any thoughts would be appreciated.”
Dealing with tantrums is the part of parenting which most parents dread. They hope their sweet little baby will not ever hit the toddler tantrum phase or the even worse teenage temper tantrum phase.
As a young mother, I was just as afraid of toddler tantrums as the next person. Then it happened, my sweet, good natured little boy switched in to a power struggling animal.
This was my first child, I didn’t know what to do.
I remember one day, when he was three years old, I told him he couldn’t have a certain snack he wanted and the next thing I knew he was in his room throwing his brand new metal Tonka dump truck against his wall. Continue reading
What does “living a lie” mean? It is when we believe something that is not true and which controls our thoughts, feelings, and other beliefs. For example, when I was pregnant with our first child, I would sit in church and notice that a boy was wearing white socks with a suit, and I thought, “My son would never do that,” or a little child with a dirty face, and I thought, “My children will have clean faces in church”. I was preparing myself to live a lie because in reality, children will wear mismatching socks and have dirty faces.
Do I love my children more when they are neat and clean? Do I love them less when they are messy and dirty? These are also lies that some parents may be living. Thoughts like these are myths which damage our joy and our relationships. Of course a parent wouldn’t hinge their love for a child upon appearance.
In fact, people often ask me how to raise confident children. Allowing a child to make messes and wear funny mismatched clothing from time to time is one way they determine they are good at making choices. All people need a safe way to learn decision making and cause and effect. Simple clothing choices at young ages, and creative projects, which often make messes, are great cause and effect learning moments and should be embraced by parents.
More Lies And Facts
Social culture often pressures dads to behave certain ways toward their sons. They may teach their sons that crying is for sissies or men don’t do house work. These are lies. Continue reading