Category Archives: In real life

Bringin’ Down the (Lord’s) House

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I wipe the sweat from my brow on the sleeve of the white jumpsuit. The red smear left behind on the sleeve is unexpected. Leaving the hammer drill on the partially-tiled floor, I stand up to look in the large mirror on a nearby wall. Sure enough, there’s a tiny nick on my forehead. I step around another brother dressed in white to reach the box of tissues concealed beneath a cover of white yarn on a matrix of plastic. Satisfied that the bleeding has stopped, I adjust my earplugs, grab the Hilti, and continue tearing up the tiles of the baptistry.

The evening hasn’t gone quite as I anticipated.

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Official Bendanian History

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Note: Of the numerous micronations extant toward the end of the 20th century, few reached the same depths of obscurity and irrelevance achieved by Bendania, which consisted of the bedroom shared by two young brothers. I offer this historical document (with very little emendation, minor formatting changes appropriate for the new medium in which it is presented, some redaction and substitution of only limited consequence in order to protect the innocent, and rare clarifying comments) with the hope that it may shed additional light on some humorous attitudes prevalent among certain populations in the era under question.  -Editor


Official Bendanian History

prepared by E. B. W. Pratt, National Historian

July 4, 1776

  • The United States of America founded by some good guys.

April 6, 1830

  • Churchia founded by The King, through His Servant Joseph.

December 28, 1977

  • “Dad” and “Mom,” both dual citizens of the USA and Churchia, found The Pratt Family (hereafter TPF).

[redacted], 1980

  • Benjamin Wilcken Pratt born in the USA, near Churchian University. Raised in Churchia.

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What to Say When She’s Not Expecting

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In the past few weeks, I’ve had several friends and family members bring up the subject of miscarriage. Sadly I seem to be the resident know-it-all on pregnancy loss in our family because of my own experiences with miscarriage and infertility.  Over the years I’ve also had many people ask me what to say to someone who has suffered the loss of a pregnancy.  It can be an awkward time for the couple who are grieving the loss of a child and awkward for those who want to do something but don’t know what to say or do.  This recent post about miscarriage made me think that other’s might need a some guidance in this area.

 The loss of a child is perhaps one of the single most devastating and sad experiences a family can go thru. In the same vein, when a couple looses a pregnancy similar feelings of sadness and loss are present. Unlike the loss of a child, when a couple experience a miscarriage there are no formal rituals of mourning, no graveside to visit and no pictures by which to remember this child. Many times this couple goes home from the hospital or the doctor’s office with empty arms and a lot of unanswered questions. Continue reading →

What Would You Do?

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So yesterday in Church something bothered me, I’m not going to go into specific details, those are not important, and I’m not looking for a fight or a debate this time of year. I’m just looking for some direction on how to handle a situation.

The Relief Society teacher taught something that was doctrinally incorrect, and bordered on heresy in my opinion. No one said anything. Not even the president. I almost had to leave the room it bothered me so much.

I wanted to say something, but I didn’t know how with out being obnoxious (I’m still working on that these days). What do I do? I am really bothered by this…REALLY!

What would you do? What would Jesus do? I know it’s not my place to correct, but seriously, it was doctrinally wrong.

Help.

Putting the “X” Back in Christmas

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The other day, while roaming the halls of facebook (because let’s face it, that’s where people are these days), a friend mentioned in her status that she was very offended by the use of X-Mas instead of Christmas, Some have even suggested that we all need to boycott retailers and business that use this term in place of Christmas.  (Frankly, I’ve never seen this used in any Christmas or Holiday display, ever).

 
I know there are many  that share this sentiment and are upset by the use of X-mas. Their knickers are sure to twist when I say this. X-Mas does not bother me, nor should it bother any of us. In fact, neither does Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, or Merry Winter Solstice bother me . I have friends that celebrate all of those things and I think at this time of year it’s all good. They let me have room to celebrate Christmas; I can only extend the same courtesy to them. This does not however mean, I will stop defending the Gospel or Christianity in general. What I’m saying is, before we get angry, we need to take a step back, especially at this time of year. Continue reading →