Confession: I was a member of the #MormonMafia

The #MormonMafia has people in the highest (and lowest) levels of government.

I was once a member of the dreaded #MormonMafia.

When I lived in Arizona, my assignment was to volunteer with the Chandler Police Department, where I did terrible things like:

  • Assisting stranded motorists
  • Retrieving keys from locked cars
  • Assisting officers at motor vehicle accidents
  • Assisting Chandler Fire with traffic control at fire scenes
  • Any other task that didn’t require a sworn officer

motorist-assistAs a uniformed volunteer with the Chandler Police Department, I did some unspeakably bad things, like the time I changed a woman’s tire and told her to “Have a nice day.” I mean, seriously, who does stuff like that anymore?!?! What was a thinking?!?!

I still have nightmares about that day.

Worst thing of all? The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints actually ENCOURAGES it’s members to do this type of stuff.

Now, I’m not trying to deflect responsibility for my actions; I am guilty as charged. No, I’m just pointing out that the #MormonMafia might continue to grow—creep into other areas of everyday life.


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The next time someone stops to help you when your car breaks down, or when someone holds the door for you, it could be a member of the #MormonMafia.

The group of women and men that put together toiletry kits for Syrian refugees? Yep, they could be a part of the #MormonMafia, too.

Missionaries from the New York New York South Mission clean up debris in Rockaway, New York, on November 10, 2012.

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Be vigilant. Be careful. Be aware.

You never know when you might meet a member of the #MormonMafia. Who knows…they might just be there to help you, too!


19 thoughts on “Confession: I was a member of the #MormonMafia

  1. Guido (I mean “Brian”), you need to tell some stories about when you were making your bones as a wise guy when you went on your “mission.”

  2. Complete change of subject — will one of y’all write something up on the Bundy acquittal up in Oregon? How in the world do a bunch of armed people take over a federal facility and get acquitted?

  3. That is well above my pay grade, IDIAT. I would love to here from one the attorneys in the LDS blogosphere on that one.

    I haven’t read much on the trial and the acquittal, but I have seen the shockwaves hitting Facebook and other social media.

  4. Maybe too much recreational marijuana for the Portland jurors? I wonder how they’d feel if I rounded up a couple of buddies with AR’s and commandeered their homes for a couple of weeks. But back to the MormonMafia – I served in the Italy Catania mission, spent 6 months in Palermo, and learned to speak some Sicilian. And my wife could pass for an Italian mother. Now if could just get rid of my brown hair and blue eyes…..

  5. Way above my pay grade, but likely Jury Nullification and/or overreach by the Marshals (they tased the defense attorney in the courtroom) by charging them with the crimes with the highest penalties rather than easily provable lesser ones.

    But I’m sure someone with actual law knowledge will know for sure..

  6. One of the alternate jurors said the case began to turn against the government when they opposed the reading of the Constitution to the court, and the judge sustained it. The jurors began to see it as a Soviet show trial. I’m just reporting on reasons why the jurors decided the way they did, not agreeing with them because I am not a lawyer and I don’t know all of the charges or what exactly the defense claimed. I’m not a big fan of armed groups of any sort taking over federal facilities, although I do agree that the federal government has taken way too much land in the West. The way to deal with that is through the existing legislative and judicial processes, not through armed rebellion.

  7. I haven’t read the legal filings, but I suspect that the jurors are solely reacting to what they perceive as arrant government overreach.

    Look, the average joe out there right now is angry. And it spans race and class, with the exception of the very wealthy. Folks are seeing people Too Big to Jail and getting away with stuff and then seeing their peers having the book thrown at them when they commit infractions. It’s not hard for people to see this kind of corruption.

    I don’t favor or advocate armed rebellion either, but I have seen recent studies showcase the fact that according to metrics, we haven’t been this divided as a body politic since the 1850s. Now let that sink in. Sobering concept.

    Juries have historically been an occasional check on government abuse. That’s why the Framers ensured their existence through constitutional policymaking. I suspect this acquittal doesn’t mean that the jurors condone what these folks did; they are sending another kind of message entirely.

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