By Tanya Spackman
The last couple of weeks I was on a business trip in a different state. I had to work one of the Sundays I was there, so missed church. Surprisingly, I even drove by the local LDS church each day on my way to work. I’m lucky in that I rarely miss church due to work; in the 5 years I’ve had this job, this is only the second time I’ve had to work on Sunday. I occassionally miss church due to illness or travel (non-work related), but I’m almost always attending some ward on any given Sunday.
And I missed church. Not missed as in did not attend (though it was that, too), but missed as in I felt something missing in my life.
I’m one of those people who finds church fairly dull. Generally I go out of habit and because I’m supposed to be there; I have a testimony of the gospel and know that is where the Lord wants me to be on Sundays. My spiritual education and enlightenment comes from personal study, not church, with occassional exceptions. I sometimes enjoy the Spirit at church, but sometimes it is just the thing to do and the place to be Sunday from 10 to 1 (or whatever the time is if I’m visiting another ward).
Also, I’m not a particularly social person; it’s nice to say hello to people and chat with them when I don’t see them at any other time, but I’d be fine if our paths crossed less often (not because I don’t like them, just because I’m not much for the social pleasantries). And I’m okay with all of that. None of that is a complaint.
But when I don’t go, whether due to travel or illness, I definitely feel that I missed something. My day and week and life just isn’t complete. Maybe it is because I miss out on the sacrament. Maybe it is because I am so conditioned to have that be a part of my week. Maybe, despite not really being into the social thing, I miss that bit of interaction with a larger community. Maybe the Spirit at church makes more of a difference than I give it credit.
When I was back home and attended church last Sunday, it was a comforting experience. It really is where I’m meant to be.
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Tanya Spackman is single and lives in Dugway, Utah. She served a mission in Chicago, and graduated from BYU in 1998 with a degree in molecular biology. She currently works for a contractor as a technical writer and editor at Dugway Proving Ground.
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“Maybe it is because I am so conditioned to have that be a part of my week.”
Thanks for admitting that as a possibility, as I think it’d be part of the reasoning for me as well. Thanks for your post, I enjoyed it.
Tanya, I have found that my weeks work in a certain rhythm. All of my week points toward the rest I have on Saturday and the activities on Sunday. I feel cheated when I pass the rare week when I miss that rhythm, so I have found that I always find a way to go to church on Sunday wherever I am. But I must admit that there are times when church is dull. But again even the dullness is part of the rhythm I miss. Sometimes being bored leaves me open to new insights and new feelings of the Spirit, so even that is a good thing in a way.
Geoff B, the rhythm of the week is a perfect way of thinking of it. I like that.
I often think that people who have it so easy have a hard time growing in the Gospel. I know of people that have been disowned by family because they choose to be baptized in the Latter Day Saint. I also know someone who was from a part member family and was disowned for choosing to be active in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
If somebody announced that people would no longer have the freedom to worship as they pleased in public places one months hence, do you think that you would look for every last bit of fellowship and strength that you could glean at Church. How reverant would you be as you take the Sacrament.
My family of a different faith has in many ways been amazingly supportive of my LDS Church activity through the years. However, where they gave opposition, I learned what I truly valued and grew.
olivia86,
Please don’t misunderstand my feelings towards church versus my feelings towards the gospel or the Church (note the difference between Church and church). I am incredibly grateful I have the gospel in my life. I greatly value the ordinances I receive through the Church. I do sometimes take it for granted, but much of the time I do not, and I stand in awe that I have been blessed with so much and have been given so much responsibility that I worry if I am fulfilling the duties I have here on Earth. Thus, my post was more about church as opposed the Church.
That said, and recognizing the difference between church and Church, you still have a point that I appreciate, for where does church and the Church and the gospel really diverge? That is, of course, the underlying topic of much of the discussion throughout the bloggernacle and when LDS friends meet for Church-related discussions.
Tanya, you are right. I know that you clearly said how you really gain a lot from your personal Gospel study.
I know when I was new in the Church how I was such a sponge and so attentive to ever word that was spoken at Church. Through the years, it can tend to be repettitive at time.
Tanya, I think you are cool and hope that I did not imply otherwise. You go girl!!!!