The moral conundrum of my recent liposuction

By Pret Entious

During the twelfth year of my dissertation, I began to discern a need to obviate the subcutaneous abdominal bubbling that was the result of my 12-hour days in front of the computer while I continue to study the dangers of heteronormality in 15th century Nepalese villages.

After three constant months of supplication, my partner-husband Steve Entious-Whipped agreed to release the necessary funds for me to obtain a tumescent liposuction.  The results are more than satisfactory:  my bubbling has subsided to an acceptable level and I can fit into sweat pants I haven’t been able to wear for several years.

But my liposuction raises a raft of moral conundrums.  I am primarily concerned here with the many, many Third World women who because of continued masculine domination are unable to be granted low-cost health care that will allow them to obtain the necessary tumescent liposuctions they so obviously need.  Fellow wormons, what can be done to help redirect Church funds for these women?  Please comment with specific action plans.

7 thoughts on “The moral conundrum of my recent liposuction

  1. Melt down the extracted adipose, use it as an fuel in vehicles. Donate the profits to Kiva.

  2. ok so i KNOW i dont post here enough for this to be making fun of me but i am hearing my voice in pret entious….

  3. Pret Entious – Here is a simple plan that will increase hygeine awareness AND promote disphoria-oriented health solutions in the developing world: We need to invent a solar-energy-powered vaccuum cleaner that can have an additional “lipo-suck” attachment for self-surgery.

  4. Oh, and to further the cause of sanitation, the fat from the lipo-suck can then be melted into soap for household use.

  5. Oh eek, does this one remind me of my all-so-serrious Botox and the dissertation post of several years ago. EEEEEK. Or “eeeeek” along with convulsive laughter, anyhow!

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