Jeffrey Thayne

Today, we hear a lot about the importance of self-confidence and self-esteem. Sometimes we don’t feel like we are adequate to the task at hand, and sometimes we think poorly of ourselves. This sometimes makes us miserable. It makes sense to believe that the solution to this problem is to think more highly of ourselves (increase our self-esteem), and to be more confident in our ability to do the things we need to do (increase our self-confidence). However, I disagree. I don’t believe that the scriptures ever teach us to think highly of ourselves, or to trust in our own abilities. Now, before you hang me for saying this, give me a chance to explain. Continue reading →

When I was young, I was often asked what I wanted to be when I grow up. The answer to that question shifted and changed over the years. For a while, I wanted to be a detective, like Sherlock Holmes. I wanted to dazzle people with my deductive powers and solve crimes that no one could solve. Then, I wanted to be an astronomer, and spend my nights looking into the sky, learning about the stars, and discovering new celestial objects. Then, I wanted to be a physicist, and I wanted to discover the ever-elusive “Theory of Everything.” There were many other variants, but almost all of them involved me doing something that has never been done before, or going somewhere no one’s been before. Whatever it was that I did, I wanted to be a pioneer in the field, and to be known for it. Like the rest of humankind, I’ve always had the desire to be great. Continue reading →

Jeffrey Thayne

About a month ago, some friends of mine invited me to go stargazing with them. The spot they chose was Squaw Peak, which in this context refers to a parking lot on the top of a mountain that overlooks Utah Valley, which has been stigmatized as a popular make-out spot. I think the hope was that the elevation would allow us to see more stars than we could if we were in the valley. Sadly, the sea of city lights in the valley below us muted the light of the stars. In fact, the stars were dim enough that the city lights were more interesting to look at than the sky. This isn’t to say the trip was a loss. Rather, the seven of us had fun talking, laughing, giggling, and just enjoying each others company as we gazed out over the valley. And, at some point, I separated myself from the group, and just sat by myself and stared at the city lights.

I would like to share some of the thoughts that I had that night as I looked across the valley and at the night sky. Continue reading →

Jeffrey Thayne

Do we decide who we fall in love with?

Today, I would like to talk about love. Particularly, I would like to address the question: “Fall in love or choose to love?”

“Falling in Love”

Often, we talk about romantic love as if it is something that happens to us. It’s something we stumble upon, or fall into. This implies that we are not actively involved in the process—that we are recipients, rather than initiators, of the experience of love. And, because we are not involved in the process, we don’t have a choice. When we “fall in love,” we cannot help but love the other person. According to Wikipedia, the metaphorical verb fall implies not only that “the process may have been in some way inevitable or uncontrollable,” but also “irreversible.”

I can see very flattering components in this account of love. Basically, it says, Continue reading →

Jeffrey Thayne

Is the path of the gospel a flower-strewn, smoothly-paved, uninterrupted straight-shot to constant happiness?

I would like to talk today about sorrow, joy, misery, enjoyment, pain, pleasure, and love. It’s ambitious project, I know. However, I would like to present a fresh perspective on how each of these terms relate to each other. However, please note the recent post by Nathan Richardson called “Go Away… I mean, Come Here,” and realize that I use these terms differently in this post than they might be used in other contexts, such as scripture.

The Problem

In a couple of previous posts (Challenging the Pleasure Principle and Sorrow versus Misery), I’ve addressed the issue of hedonism, which is defined as “the ethical theory that pleasure (in the sense of the satisfaction of desires) is the highest good and proper aim of human life. I believe that many of us may inadvertently take the hedonist position that pleasure (or positive emotion) is inherently good, while pain (or negative emotion) is inherently bad. Continue reading →