This e-mail was sent to me today, and I couldn’t stop laughing. By the way, please don’t actually call 1-900-slacker — it is a real company that was not too pleased when I called today.
Is Visiting teaching / Home teaching getting you down? Can’t get your Leader off your back? Is Visiting Teaching interfering with your TV and manicure? Is Home teaching cutting into your personal time?
We can help! At Zion’s Visiting Teaching Service we’ll do your Visiting/Home Teaching for you. For a small monetary fee we will send one of our trained representatives to the homes of your families.
Basic Visit. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $10
Basic Visit plus Spiritual Message . . . . . . . . . . $15
Birthday and anniversary cards in addition
to the Basic Visit and Spiritual Message. . . . .. . . $20
Is $20 too much to pay for peace of mind?
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Call us at 1-900-752-2537. That’s 1-900-Slacker.
PLEASE NOTE: Because of heavy volume, an extra $15 will be added for the last day of the month.
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Check Out Our New Services
Meetings: We will send a representative to the appropriate meeting to take
notes for you and report back.
Ward Council Meeting . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $30
Ward Council Meeting w/ written report . . . . . $50
Presidency Meetings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $20
PEC . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$25
Sacrament Meeting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $20
Sunday School . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $20
Priesthood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . $20
3-hour Sunday Block (best value) . . . . . . . . . . .. . $50
PLEASE NOTE: Surcharge of 10% for stake meetings
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Call us at 1-900-752-2537. That’s 1-900-Slacker.
PLEASE NOTE: Because of heavy volume, an extra $15 will be added for the last day of the month.
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Talks and Lessons
Did a bishopric member call and assign you a talk? Tired of wasting Saturday night preparing a lesson? Well, free up your time and just read one of our professionally prepared talks and lessons. No need to spend countless hours poring through books, writing and praying. We’ll do it for you!
Basic Talk (any subject assigned) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $20
Scripture Talk (basic + 5 scriptures) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $30
Deluxe Talk (scripture + 1 poem + 2 G.A. quotes) . . . . . . $40
All talks are guaranteed to last 15 minutes.
Add $1 for each additional minute
Basic Lesson (40 minutes) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . $25
Deluxe (Basic + visual aids) . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . .$35
Super Deluxe (Deluxe + Handouts) . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $45
* Due to high expectations, centerpieces and floral arrangements, Relief Society lessons are slightly higher. Call for quote.
* Due to lower expectations, priesthood lessons receive a 10% discount.
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Call us at 1-900-752-2537. That’s 1-900-Slacker.
PLEASE NOTE: Because of heavy volume, an extra $15 will be added for the last day of the month.
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Introducing our Bundle Buys and Frequent Shopper Plan
Bundle any 3 services and receive a 20% discount. Receive one free Basic talk or lesson with any 10 purchases.
There you have it! We take all the work off of your shoulders and put
ours to the wheel just for you.
Casserole Service
If you just can’t possibly throw together food for various Ward occasions,
WE CAN!
Our basic services include:
a.. Funeral Potatoes
b.. Green Bean/Mushroom Soup with Crunchy Onions
c. Green Jell-O with Carrots
d.. Spinach Dip in a Bread Bowl
e.. CheezWiz/Tater Tot Surprise
For only $15 (plus deposit) each delivered to your house with Corningware marked with your name! They’ll never know you didn’t make ’em!