What if I walked out to my back yard in February, and planted a kernel of corn? Then, the same afternoon, went to check on it, and the kernel had not turned into corn on the cob yet? Would I be disappointed? Certainly not. Each time I passed by the little spot where I planted the piece of grain, I would become excited and look forward to each stage of development in the life of the corn plant.
Why then, as parents, do we come home with a kernel of wisdom and expect the full fruit to happen that very day? The answer is simple enough. We care a lot, we have invested a lot, and we are often desperate for a change. We have all felt this desperation in one form or another. This desperation comes from our circumstances and from our love.
When You Want Freedom, You Get Change.
My main goals as a parenting teacher are to help people become free from that desperation, to feel the freedom which comes from Continue reading
My good friend, Jodie Palmer, sent me this cute anecdote which happened when they were role playing the Four Basic Skills with their children.
“Our family has been playing the “instruction game” in the evenings before bed. We take turns giving each other instructions and then following them. Of course we have lot’s of clapping and celebrating as everyone completes their instruction with an “I did it!” The other evening daddy gave our 2-year old son an instruction to give his 4-year old sister a big hug. Usually, an enthusiastic completer of instructions, he scrunched up his little face and said, “I’ll take a consequence.”
I am so impressed with this story for a multiple reasons. Continue reading
Recently I was part of a large tele-summit for families where I gave a one hour class highlighting many of the parenting principles I teach. Here is a link to the free companion cards I discussed on the call. http://teachingselfgovernment.com/form/free-companion-implementation-cards
During this summit I had many many questions sent to me and didn’t have time on the call to answer them all, so I am going to answer one of those questions today.
“I have a daughter who frequently rages and manipulates. She is out of control almost as often as she is in control. Continue reading
Years ago when I started learning the principles of self-government I was foster parenting really difficult children. Most of these children had some things in common. They were on medication, they had severe anger control issues, and they had terrible eating habits. The medication situation was evaluated, and in most cases stopped when self-government principles were taught. Sometimes the anger control issues stopped immediately when self-government principles and skills were learned. However, sometimes the anger control issues would correct themselves, go through a cycle, and re-surface shortly thereafter. With these youth I had to look at another aspect of their self-government, their diet. Continue reading
One day our family was sitting around talking about what really makes a family. Soon our conversation turned to a question. What is a family for? This question led to many other questions like: What do people really want out of their family relationships? What makes a family happy? Who chooses happiness in the family? What destroys families? ETC.
The questions and discussion went on and on. I was so happy to hear my children say things like, “Well, if you just listen to mom and dad and do what they say then you will be happy in your family.” The young ones really understood the purpose of a mom and dad and that they needed to trust their parents to guide them along the path to happiness.
Our family does a lot of teaching about good parenting and strong family relationships around the world so my children are used to analyzing our family relationships and when they are going well, and when they aren’t. It’s so great to be working on a mission as a family.
Well, actually all families are on a mission. The mission is to Continue reading