The Disappointing Balance of LDS Life

Mormons cherish excellence, or whatever.

We often hear sort-of-doctrinal talks about how the Lord expects us to be the very best we can, that the Lord wants us to excel even in our non-spiritual endeavors. We look to Dale Murphy and J. Reuben Clark and a hundred other ultra-successful Mormons as examples, and believe that we, too, are called to great heights of worldly, but pure, success. For myself, I’m easily swept away by notions of the nobility of hard work and tedious sacrifice. I can’t help but admit that these men, who’ve risen to the tops of their fields and remained devout, are the ideal for me, as well as for the church as a whole. It’s a commonplace to note the great success of so many of our leaders in their earlier secular pursuits, and it’s a common assumption that we are capable of similar achievements.

And so, my fellow excellent Mormons, my considered question is this: How? There’s little doubt that the first priority of every husband, wife, father and mother ought to be one’s family. Those of us not so blessed with spouse or posterity gain a compensating reward of freedom– which often comes with real professional benefits. But we are constantly reminded, sadly for those living outside the ideal, that this is not what we strive for. What we strive for is professional excellence attained while also contributing to a happy marriage and nourishing six well-fed, ruddy-cheeked blonde cherubs of European descent. On top of this we should give no small amount of time and money to the church, further shrinking our pool of disposable resources. After these first commitments are fulfilled, how many people are able to write that novel or build that startup?

I have no wish to belabor the sad tale of how over-burdened the Mormon mother and father are. In fact, I can’t imagine a more ideal life than the one I lead now– an existence divided equally between a pleasant, well-paying job and some of the most wonderful people in the world at home. It’s an easy life, really, and something many of us are well prepared for.

But that’s the point, isn’t it– that it’s so consumingly pleasant? I’ve seen good Mormons who were able to break away from all of this consistently enough to make extra contributions to their community or company or academic field, but I just can’t imagine how I’d do it myself. As I hinted on my bio page, I consider myself a person of some potential talents, but I’ve been able to develop very few of them, because I’m hewing almost exclusively to my priorities, and probably will be for the next twenty five years or so. Maybe when I’m fifty, that will be the time to run for city council or write the first good Mormon musical. But that twenty year wait sounds an awful lot like lazy complacency, of the kind that J. Reuben Clark certainly never would have countenanced.

So in the middle of all of this deep, soul-fulfilling happiness, I sometimes detect a tiny signal of . . . lament. I would like to be one of those people, the ones with unmeasurable drive, who come home from work and then do something, composing poetry or researching for their law journal article. But there’s a marriage to enjoy, and kids to read to, and a lawn to mow. Who has the time?

Is this on purpose? Does the Lord really expect me to be the best lawyer in Utah? Or will there be some role I’ll play in my exalted life in which my ability to keep ten balls (planets?) in the air will be much more vital than my prestige as a leader in my field? Does anyone else sense a contradiction between the noble ideal of meteoric achievement and the pleasant, plodding growth of a balanced LDS life?

I’d love to write that novel, and maybe someday I will. But right now, my kids are just too darn cute.

41 thoughts on “The Disappointing Balance of LDS Life

  1. Ryan, I understand what you’re talking about, because church and parenthood and a career give you three full-time jobs that all could easily expand to control every minute of every day, waking or not.

    One suggestion is to ruthlessly set priorities. Some things are important, but you can’t afford to spend any worry on the things that are not. The grass didn’t get cut? It’ll be there tomorrow for the cutting, or next week. Other things are more important. The house is a mess? Sweep everything from the front room into the kitchen until the home teachers leave. Your neighbors or colleagues might think you’re odd, but if you spend any amount of time worrying about their expectations you’ll never get anything done. Other things to be eliminated: TV (works for me), a couple hours of sleep (doesn’t work for me). Instead, pick one of the things you mention in your bio and spend an hour on it today. Repeat the process tomorrow. If you choose to be, for example, a novelist, then write a novel. There are no shortcuts on this one, but you don’t have to wait 20 years, either.

  2. I, too, thought that I’d have to shelve some dreams and talents for several decades. All the moreso when we started homeschooling. I learned a lot from the process of teaching the first child to read. I learned, mostly, that it is best done in ten minute increments. You can’t get them to sit still for six hours of instruction. But, nonetheless, less than a year later, I had a child who could read.

    I decided that I could do something big and important in ten minute increments, too. So I started working on a book. I had occassional long Saturdays at the library, but mostly 10, 30, 45 minute increments.

    And, lo and behold, eventually it was done.

  3. Julie, the fact that you have written a book as a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom has always impressed me. Maybe the fact that I find myself unable to do these things has more to do with the disappointing lack of discipline of the Ryan Bell than the disappointing balance of LDS life.

    Both of you, thanks for your ideas– I’m feeling motivated to put together some kind of routine now, for advanced achievement. Watch for my name in the news somewhere, probably under “local man writes title of forthcoming book.”

  4. #2: That sounds like the Shawshank Redemption method for accomplishment. Having studied J. Reuben Clark’s life in some detail (a class in law school on the subject), I think one thing we often fail to recognize in looking at the great accomplishments of some of our leaders is where they were at a simlar age. Clark was brilliant and accomplished much, but really had not achieved great prominence and success (in terms of money) until later in his life. Just a thought.

  5. I completely agree with Jonathan about setting priorities, which is why I rarely ever post comments.

    Now if I could just get myself to stop reading . . .

  6. Yes! I understand the “lamentation” of sometimes feeling a bit overwhelmed.
    Julie’s idea is excellent! I know that 10 or 15 minute increments may not seem like much but they do add up, especially if done consistently, daily.
    Interesting note:
    Since the majority of LDS people are now outside the U.S.A….those six cherubic blond children might more realistically be olive skinned and speaking spanish…just a thought.

  7. Julie, what is the name of your book? I tried to write a book once, but it was so not fun. I decided this is not my gift, it is work, and I try never to work, very hard, anyway. But congratulations, I hope I get to read it.

    I hope I can put this the way I got the epiphany, Ryan, to address your initial question. I struggle with my flaw of perfectionism, and I think many Mormons do. We are basically such ambitious people.

    I was thinking last night of two relatives, both beloved women, wonderful women, both raised in the gospel. Both failed to grasp basic gospel principles, despite years of teaching and have chosen to live lives that are not in harmony with their teaching. They reject the church and resent anybody who does not. I blame some of this on family dysfunction, but others are raised in bad homes and understand and embrace the gospel, so there must be some element of personal responsibility at play, as well.

    It occurred to me that I am one up on these women who have chosen to reject the faith. Not that I am being judgemental or smug, but that God would have to get through one additional gauntlet to reach them. So perhaps, even though I am so totally flawed, there is hope for me, if I never write a book or get the Nobel peace prize, even learn how to sew without cussing long and loud. Maybe I am good enough, striving as I always am for improvement, albeit in a more relaxed manner, as I age, maybe I am good enough to “make it.” Did you follow that Ryan? Maybe you can relax and just do what you can do.

  8. If you read J. Reuben Clark’s bio by Quinn, you would see that he was not a very good example at all- He was mostly inactive throughout his government career, and for a lengthly period of time did not live with hiw wife while he was practicing law in NYC and she stayed in Salt Lake.

  9. Ryan, you are pretty accomplished already. Top law school and a clerkship under your belt–do you expect the next big thing right away? If so, that is certainly a recipe for unhappiness.

  10. Does the fact that he refused to attend church in the home of a person who had slighted him horribly really make him a bad example? He viewed his calling as serving in the government and rising as high as he could in those circles- to give the Church more exposure. At least according to Quinn’s (very good) book.

  11. Yes but, I think that the thrust of this post is how to juggle church, family, and career, and it seems that JRC compartmentalized them, or at least gave emphasis to different things at different times in his life.

  12. Ryan,

    My wife and I have recently been working on similar issues and as a solution we have established more specific daily schedules and routines and have purposefully scheduled personal time during the week for each of us to work on personal projects and goals. We have a specific amount of time allotted on specific days of the week for each of us. The blocks of time are not very long, maybe an hour and a half at most and each of us takes a turn spending time with the kids while the other works on whatever project (reading, writing, website, gardening, dancing, puppetry) he or she desires. It helps that we don’t watch broadcast or cable T.V.

    I tend to be kind of an unorganized person, but a highly structured week has helped us both use our time better.

  13. I don’t have this problem. I don’t seek worldly recognition or great accomplishments. I think it happened in 4th grade when despite my academic straight As, I did not make the High Honor Roll, or even the regular Honor Roll. My teacher came to me after the assembly that she didn’t understand why they messed up and didn’t call my name and she would make sure that they gave my my certificate. I was, apparently, her star student and she was proud of me.
    I had to tell her that my B- in P.E. prevented me from being on either HOnor Roll.
    I moved a lot growing up and you realize that different places have different honor rolls, different fashion rules and it all seemed arbitrary to me. I went from one school where I was the yearbook editor as a junior, to another school that would not let me on the yearbook staff.
    I also grew up in a home where my father was successful and made enough money for many to consider us rich. However, I was taught that money didn’t buy happiness. Fame doesn’t either.
    Not everyone can be at the top of their profession. Why would it be me? Not everyone can be in the top 1%….in fact, only 1% can be.
    The gospel is for everyone so in no way can be teaching us all to be in the 1%. It can however teach us that the Lord expects us to use our talents, not hide them. And it teaches us to continually progress.

  14. John, I certainly don’t feel like I’m far behind where I should be. That said, both of those accomplishments were full-time affairs, in which I had a huge swath of allotted time to get them done. Now that I’m working full time, any other kinds of projects I might wish to get going have to come second, and have to fit into the smaller moments when I’m free. So I’m not complaining about where I am, just speculating on whether I’ll get anyplace else in the next 20 years.

    Jon Wilson, I think that plan is fabulous. I’m very impressed that you guys have decided to value your personal pursuits so much. We don’t watch a whole lot of TV either, but a routine is difficult for us because so many things always pop up on odd nights. That said, I’m really excited to sit down with Macy and figure out what kind of a system we can come up with.

  15. Annegb:

    Book is here

    Amira:

    I’m having a hard time figuring out what my next project is. I don’t if it should be the next book, or something else. So I’m reading a lot and otherwise in a holding pattern.

  16. Oops, sorry, messed up the link bigtime. Janitor? A little help?

    [M* Janitor: done]

  17. There is a big difference between achievement and success. I believe it was Katherine Hepburn’s mother who told her that “success is what others think of you; achievement is what you think of yourself. Focus on achievement.” Sometimes we focus too much on success. I think of Elder Russell M. Nelson, getting up early many years ago to learn to play the organ (when he was already famous as a heart surgeon).

    He’ll probably never give a concert at Carnegie Hall. But when the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve meet in the temple, he plays the organ.
    That’s achievement.

  18. I agree with john fowles that your life-to-date is nothing to sneeze at. In counseling a good friend recently we both did a personal retrospective and found that we have accomplished remarkable and worthy things in our lives and though there’s always room for more (and for Jell-o) we both have worked hard, served hard, and played hard. And in case my wife is reading, we both decided that we married very well.

    As to the future, I had longed to start graduate school and get a masters degree. We looked at the family schedule and saw that Tuesday nights, where my son has a 7pm piano lesson, were a time where my being absent from the family wasn’t such a big deal because said child and one parent were already engaged in something that didn’t require the other parent. I started with Tuesday night classes (there was always at least one that fit into my requirements) and kept plugging. Now, Tuesdays are my write-on-my-thesis night. There’s light at the end of the tunnel, it’s just been a 5-year tunnel.

  19. Very interesting discussion; great comments and suggestions…

    My comment is in the same theme:

    I’ve heard the saying that “Success is the progressive realization of a worthwhile dream.”

    I think what Ryan was expressing, in a manner, is that he feels like he hasn’t been progressing towards anything, even though he’s doing “all the right things” as we’re taught in the church, and can’t help but feeling a little let down. But activity in itself isn’t necessarily progression, particularly if it’s repetitive activity (got to work, go home, go to work, go home, go to church, go home, go to work…)

    It reminds me of the old Sunday School example of the Red Sea vs. Dead Sea, the difference being that one is stagnant, one has movement of water– for me, I’ve found that it’s easy to get in a rut and become stagnant if I don’t discipline myself and my time otherwise. It’s like a personal mini-cycle like that in the Book of Mormon, but one of complacency rather than pride.

    That said, I think the suggestions already given are great for the practical “how-to” on seeing that progression.

  20. Where to begin. The very fact that this issue is being raised at all and then commented upon is evidence of what my opinions dictate to be the fallacy of the underlying belief; that as LDS we are under covenant either real or imagined, to not only live our spiritual lives to excellence but to be ambitious and wordly in achievement as well. I believe this belief system to be an unfortunate construct more of our LDS/American/Western US middle class society than as a true doctrinal more with scriptural or spiritual roots. Certainly we cannot take the lives of a couple of well known LDS members and draw broad swath of conclusions about where the rest of us should be relative to their standings in the world. I would go so far as to say the opposite and that all the above comments operate under this mistaken belief system. In reality what we have here is a LDS mind trying to rationalize very many enticing elements of materialism and worldiness with the roots of the Gospel of Christ: a gospel which if you will recall has more to do with the meek, the humble and the lowly of the earth than with the proud, successful and rich. How dare any of us impose judgement upon the ‘less successful’ of the world as not being excellent. I have served a mission in Peru and lived in some of the poorest ghettos and rural areas of South America – there are people dying for Heaven’s sake. As we speak and lust after our worldy success, our cars, our fancier houses, our masters degrees and educational snobberies (BYU included) there are brothers and sisters, sons and daughters of God, who through no fault of their own are starving death, suffering delibitating illness and struggling to surivive daily – their only guilt is having been born under into more humble circumstances than most of us. My plea would be a call to reality to all the rest of us suburban LDS that have become complacent and blinded in our materialism. Did J. Reuben Clark give up some spiritual priorities in order to achieve his success, probably – in fact, most definately. These LDS ‘idols’ we worship are paper tigers and not worth our time -we should worship only God. Are there General Authorities who have suffered from pride and materlialism? Of course – let us not justify our similar materialistic drive to ‘achieve’ and use it as an excuse for worshipping God in a spirit of truth and humility.

    Congratulations to Ryan Bell for his greatest accomplishments and for the love and interest he has in his family and fellow men. I feel that Spirit strongly indicates that when we are stripped of our mortal sphere we will be naked of our world based pride. I know that I will stand before God with nothing but what I’ve built of myself spiritual – with the clothing of only my faith and any good works (for my fellow men) I may have been able to achieve. I have every confidence that my judgement will have nothing to do with how many novels I’ve written, or the piano I never learned to play, or the money I never made, but will have everything to do with the the purity of my heart, and if I am found with charity at that last day. Of course maybe this type of judgement is reserved just for me and for everyone else it will be a judgement based on your degrees, novels and wealth.

  21. Eric, thanks for a very stimulating response. I have several reactions:

    First, I think it’s a little to easy to equate ambition with worshipping idols. I do think there’s a moral injunction to excel at what we do. Of course, based only on that simple rule, the person who excels as a public official or basketball should not garner any more praise or prestige than the person who excels at gardening or woodworking. So I think it’s true that the choice of which profession to enter can sometimes be motivated by love of money and pride, but once there, it would be sinful not to exploit one’s talents as much as possible. Do you disagree?

    Second, I am very, very sensitive to the fact that these questions are irrelevant for the very poor in the world, and that their challenges are far more important than mine. That said, is their suffering any reason for me to NOT strive to be successful? I can’t see how that would follow. Again, they provide an argument for not being so focused on shallow things, but not for wasting gifts and talents that can lead to success in one’s secular life.

    Third, when it comes to judgment, there is no question that Jesus will place our attainment of charity far higher than our output of good fiction. And yet, I do think there will be a question, quite high on the list, about what we did with the talents and resources we were given. Much of that will be measured by how much these resources were turned to the benefit of others, but I honestly believe God wants us to develop ourselves as much as possible, even if the only person who gains by it is oneself. “Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection.”

    Of course, I have to admit your view sounds very liberating– I might be a bit more content if I didn’t care about excelling in worldly achievements. What a happy life to care only about loving those around me.

  22. I struggle with the same issue and dillema that you do I think, which is perhaps why I’m passionate about it. Ironically I’ve always been one to do my absolute best and strive for accomplishment. However along that path I’ve also found disappointment and a pride that I cannot reconcile with who I want to be spiritually. You know I heard a quote just yesterday – that my boss sent me, that sums up the truth of the highest accomplishment:

    “To be successful you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish. Stay reachable. Stay in touch. Don’t isolate.” – Michael Jordan

    Now for whatever good there is in that, there is a whole lot of self centered-ness as well. Is this true of all accomplishment at the highest levels? Probably – and the irony is I love and value art and musicianship more than many things and yet I recognize that to be highly successful in that craft there is necessarily significant ‘selfishness’ and self centered focus that is elemental in making great ‘humanities’ happen. Unforuntately this is too deep of an issue to address adquately in such a forum.

    As to your questions, no I don’t believe it to be sinful to fail at professional task – or to fail to exploit ones talents in that profession. Is sloth unacceptable? Sure. Should we cheat our employers of our best efforts? Certainly not. However, being someone who grew up in parallel universe to you, I think that the danger is that that for too many of us that pressure to excell and achieve in professional things robs us many spiritual fullfillments. We have been taught or create the belief in our LDS ‘culture’ (not the Church or Gospel) that all success or failure professional and financially as well is a reflection of righteousness, a core value I once believed myself (and a Calvinist principle I might add.) How can this be true? Was it true of so many prophets who faced tremendous adversity and outright failure? Did they not mangify their talents? My point is that our definitions and equations of righteousness, talent and accomplishment (being specifically professional or worldy) is largely a construct of our modern society and has not been an element of the gospel down throughout time.

    2: Certainly the poor of the world are not an impediment to your achievement, or shouldn’t be perhaps, however I suppose it came to mind because its always what keeps me centered when I’ve got it particularly challenged in this principle. The perspective this comparison makes for me is so sobering to me I feel sickened by my own selfishness. I consider if the Lord would have me fretting over my 401k every day, or my effort in being a better “X”, or should I be expending that mental energy in reviewing how I might lighten the load of someone else? I find that our LDS culture’s preoccupation with somehow rationalizing every successful LDS person into ‘an example to the world’ is quite honestly a bunch of justification. Its like every ridiculous LDS star of reality tv that gives some absurd canned line about ‘how they want to share/show their values to the world’ all while being part of this rather worldy event – etc. Its just so much self stroking.

    3: Certainly judgement will include some reckoning of our talents. But is a measure of ‘intelligence’ book learning? Is not intelligence as closely associated with spiritual learning as anything else? Show me a humble man filled with charity and an unshakeable testimony of the spirit and I’ll show you a man who knows more of the gospel than someone who knokws how to explain or defend it based in doctrinal and other tenents.

    What is my point? All this is hypothetical to a degree and I certainly not trying to claim I have a corner on any of this but I believe you are doing right in fighting the temptation to put your family or the rote and admittedly routine church and other obligations after your personal amibitions. Bottom line is I think that there will never be a shortage of good and inspiring accomplishments done in the world, but truly, in my opinion, the world needs more examples of true believers of Christ than anything else. Do I admire success, accomplishment and human excellence – of course! But in my own life have recognized that perhaps subordinating my own desire achieve greatness can be done through consistent and steady growth in Christlike qualities – what on earth could be harder to achieve than matching the Savior’s own qualities of love, selflessness and perfection? That alone will take eternity to achieve. That’s more than enough for me.

    Its like the move “It’s a wonderful life.” Watch closely and you will see the movie is not about Christmas of course – but about exactly what we are talking about right now. What a show!

  23. Eric, that’s a great summation. I don’t think I’m going to quibble anymore, but admit that I agree with you about 85%. Not that I agree with 85% of what you said, but that about 85% of me agrees with you. I do think I’m expected to achieve the highest possible attainments in my profession, as a moral imperative, but of course I don’t really mean the “highest,” do I? I guess I mean the highest I can go without mortgaging my other, higher priorities.

    Anyway, thanks for your thoughts– they strike a chord with me. Especially when you mention old George Bailey– that guy will always have a place in my heart. (Christmas? Does that show have anything to do with Christmas at all? )

  24. Ryan,

    I didn’t mean to quibble at all but was intrigued by your post – something that is often felt but little said I’m sure. Anyway it may not have come across too well but I was trying to express admiration for your focus andedication.

    Nobody remembers its a wonderful life for anything other than Christmas unfortunately, but what a lesson.

  25. Ryan, I struggle with this, too. Eric’s position is appealing in many ways, but I have to believe, when I look around at the world, that God is interested in excellence and achievement. It would have been a perfectly nice world, after all, if He (They) had only made one or two kinds of flowers and a few kinds of useful animals. Presumably there are easier ways to organize the decay and recycling of plant materials than to orchestrate autumn and spring. There is a lot of impractical and costly excellence and glory around. It’s hard for me to believe that God would really have preferred that Michelangelo had spent more time having children (or being heterosexual, for that matter :)) than painting the Sistine Chapel. Should Einstein have been a better husband and father? Perhaps. But is God put out about how he spent his time? I’m inclined to doubt it.

    The trouble is translating that principle for us vast hordes of only middlingly talented folks…

  26. “There is a lot of impractical and costly excellence and glory around”

    Kristine,
    Brava! That is one of the most beautiful, potent phrases I’ve ever heard.

  27. Kristine,

    I think I’m being misunderstood at some level. My thoughts and opinions apply in my frame of reference to LDS covenant people. I’m not suggesting that the world should be a bland place full of zero variety for fear of creation or beauty or ‘excellence.’ But rather that as being apart from the world we shouldn’t fool ourselves into the belief that excellence in our sphere equates to ‘excellence’ in the other sphere – or that our contributions to the world are any less for being such ‘ordinary’ citizens. In fact if anything our lives as faithful LDS are anything but ordinary but are unique, wonderful, and even cosmopolitan. Our lives while boring in the eyes of the world are steeped in self sacrifice and charity. What the gospel requires of us is accomplishment and excellence. Is it any less beautiful or great a thing to impart and help the testimony of a young child than to create a beautiful piece of art?

    My point is that simply as LDS we shouldn’t diminish our significant contributions to the world that are done in small and simple ways through the living of our religion. I think it would be a mistake to believe that any greater good can be done by LDS people than to live our religion – this doesn’t mean that all people fall into the same box and that we should all have cookie cutter lives, but there is no shame in recognizing that no success can compensate for failure in the home.

  28. Eric,

    I guess I’m just heretical enough to believe that no success in the home can compensate for failing to do the work God has in mind for you outside of the home (if he does have work for you outside of home and church–it may well be that he doesn’t).

  29. Ryan, this is an area where I’ve had difficulty as well, and I just had one thought to add. Obviously, as others have stated above, the gospel does not allow us to excuse laziness and poor performance in our scholastic and professional endeavors, nor does it justify us in our pride or vain ambitions to achieve worldly success. Neither position is honest or pure.

    I think the question is, what motivates us? I often make the mistake of assuming that if I let go of my worldly ambition (my desire to achieve personal and professional success), I will abandon ambition altogether and become a blob. And that causes me anxiety because I want to achieve and live up to my potential in this life. On the other hand, when I consume myself with efforts to succeed in my career, I also feel anxiety because I can never be as good as I want to be. I view others as my competitors or, even worse, as stepping stones.

    The answer that releases me from both of these traps is in understanding that all of my aspirations, both spiritually, professionally, and within my family relationships, can be achieved if I am motivated by pure love. In speaking on this issue, one of my philosophy professors at BYU put it this way: “Please do not misunderstand – I offer here no excuse for poor performance or low expectations. Letting one’s colleagues or family down is no more caring than it is honest. I am not speaking of lowering our aims but of raising them — precisely by purifying our hearts in Christ and putting each other first for His sake.”

    I like that thought… raising our aims by purifying our hearts.

  30. Kristine,
    I don’t know how God wanted Michelangelo to spend his time, but according to “Michelangelo and the Pope’s Ceiling”, the Sistine Chapel was the LAST thing that Michelangelo wanted to be doing. He considered himself a sculptor primarily and had to teach himself the fickle art of fresco. The book claims Michealangelo got blackmailed or bullied into doing the ceiling by a nasty, powerful pope. Just FIY.

  31. In Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein”, the young, brilliant scientist, Victor F, conceives a driving passion to create life. This obsession causes him to badly neglect his loving, supportive family, nearly ruins his health and nerves, and of course ends in great tragedy. In regretful retrospect, he says:
    “A human being in perfection ought always to preserve a calm and peaceful mind, and never to allow passion or a transitory desire to disturb his tranquillity. I do not think that the pursuit of knowledge is an exception to this rule. If the study to which you apply yourself has a tendency to weaken your affections, and to destroy your taste for those simple pleasures in which no alloy can possibly mix, then that study is certainly unlawful, that is to say, not befitting the human mind. If this rule were always observed; if no man allowed any pursuit whatsoever to interfere with the tranquillity of his domestic affections, Greece had not been enslaved; Caesar would have spared his country; America would have been discovered more gradually; and the empires of Mexico had not been destroyed.” (Near the end of Chapter IV)
    There’s some wisdom here, I think.

  32. … the best lawyer in Utah…

    There is really something very unsettling about that phrase.

  33. I’m a professor in a “mission field” state, and I was suprised to find one of my students wearing a T-Shirt that said “I can’t, I’m mormon”. Are people honestly thinking this kind of thing is funny? I also found a site that sells T-shirts that seems to glorify being a “liberal mormon”.

    Is this the wave of the future? I hope not.

  34. C. Jensen,

    It’s funny that you’re making exactly the same comment at Bloggernacle Times (see http://www.bloggernacle.org/2005/03/weekly_zeitgeis_2.html#c4472714 ), and at BCC (ironically, in the “Mormon Business is Priestcraft” thread).

    Are you by chance someone with a financial stake in this particular website? Because it sure looks like you’re trying to drum up business for them.

    (It’s also funny how a few weeks ago, a bunch of similar comments were posted on T & S, BCC, M*, and B-times . . . ).

  35. Love the Mary Shelley quote. In addition I’ll add another from one of my favorite works.

    “Les Miserables, Victor Hugo, Unabridged edition, p 47: “The fact is that he had offended them. Among other strange things he had dropped the remark one evening when he had happened to be at the house of one of his highest-ranking colleagues: ‘What fine clocks! Fine carpets! Fine liveries! It must all be very bothersome. How loath I would be to have all these superfluities forever crying in my ears:’ There are people who are starving! There are people who are cold! What about the poor? What about the poor?’

    We should say, by the way, that the hatred of luxury is not an intelligent hatred. That would imply a hatred of the arts. Nevertheless, among churchmen, if taken beyond their rituals and ceremonies, luxury is a fault. It appears to indicate habits that are not truly charitable. A wealth priest is a contradiction. He ought to stay close to the poor. But who can be in continual contact night and day with every distress, every misfortune and privation, without picking up a little of that holy poverty, like the dust of labor? Can you imagine a man near a fire who does not feel warm? Can you imagine a laborer working constantly at a furnace who has not one hair singed, nor a nail blackened, nor a drop of sweat, nor a speck of ashes on his face? The first proof of charity in a priest, and especially a bishop, is poverty.”

    Where it says the word churchmen, the author is obviously referring to the clergy of the catholic church of the age, however it can be applicable to our time and our ‘churchmen’ as well. Are we not clergy too? In that way these examples speek volumes to be of what ought to be our focus in life. Having lived in grinding poverty I know that poverty is not glamorous or desirable but likewise there is something beautiful and very desirable about toiling and spending our time and days with the poor (and rich alike) and the poor in spirit. In my mind there is greatness, true self mastery and achievement in this.

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