It’s not easy being a Latter-day Saint…

…and it’s not supposed to be.

BYU Prof. Noel Reynolds was the mission president in South Florida when I lived there a few years ago.  He used to give this presentation that I think is extremely relevant to our times.  His point was that in many ways it’s a lot tougher being a Latter-day Saint these days than, say, 130 years ago.  He said a lot more is required of us these days and a lot more is expected.

When you compare our times to, for example, your typical Latter-day Saint in 1880 living in Utah, we have a lot more requirements.  The word of wisdom was voluntary back then, as was tithing.  Not every young man went on a mission, nor were all expected to.  Church callings and service was a lot more haphazard — not everybody was spending 5-10 hours a week (or more) on Church callings as they do now.

People spent a lot less time overall at the temple (especially since there weren’t very many of them — the Salt Lake temple wasn’t finished yet).  So, there was a lot less pressure to make monthly temple trips, as there is now.

The point is NOT to say that life is so much tougher for us now.  Overall, life is a lot easier in a myriad of ways.   If you consider the difficulties of a Latter-day Saint woman (or man) facing life in a polygamous family, there is certainly an argument to be made that life was much tougher for many people in Utah in the 1880s than it is now.   Frontier life was not a breeze, and there was still significant persecution.

The point is simply to remind us that requirements for an active Latter-day Saint have changed since then and in many ways the requirements are more stringent, not less stringent.   Almost all young men go on a mission now.  You can’t go to the temple unless you obey the word of wisdom and pay your tithing.

Prof. Reynolds’ point in discussing these historical trends was to say that in his opinion there is a new requirement that will be more and more important to active Latter-day Saints.  And that is the requirement of actively doing missionary work.  This means creating a home where people are actively and consciously pursuing ways of sharing the Gospel with their neighbors constantly.

Elder Ballard gave a talk in 2006 on this concept, which he called a gospel-sharing home.   It seems to me the key points are these:

Creating a gospel-sharing home is the easiest and most effective way that we can share the gospel with others. And we’re not just talking about traditional homes with families consisting of two parents living with their children. College students can create a gospel-sharing home when they adorn the walls of their apartments with pictures that reflect spiritual pursuits instead of the things of the world. Older couples and single members exemplify a gospel-sharing home when they welcome new neighbors and invite them to attend church and visit them in their homes.

A gospel-sharing home is one in which neighborhood children love to play, making it natural to invite them and their family to attend church, a family home evening, or some other activity. Teenagers visiting a gospel-sharing home feel comfortable asking questions or participating with the family in prayer.

Elder Ballard mentions in the talk something which I’m sure is of concern to some people reading this post right now, which is, “why is the Church trying to make me feel guilty that I’m not doing enough?”  And that is the purpose of this post:  you probably aren’t doing enough (I know I am not), but the Lord and Church leaders don’t want you to feel inadequate, they want you to search for easy ways that you could do more.  I know, for example, that I could give out one Book of Mormon a month, yet I always come up with some excuse for not doing it.  There are a thousand easy ways I could do this, if I just put my mind to it.

So, no, it is not easy being a Latter-day Saint.  There is a lot expected of you and a lot of ways to fail.  And, interestingly, there are many ways in which more is expected of you in 2009 than was expected of people in the 1880s.  But I don’t feel the expectations are oppressive — I just feel I need to find ways to reorganize my priorities in small ways, one tiny step at a time.  Isn’t that what self-improvement is about?

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About Geoff B.

Geoff B graduated from Stanford University (class of 1985) and worked in journalism for several years until about 1992, when he took up his second career in telecommunications sales. He has held many callings in the Church, but his favorite calling is father and husband. Geoff is active in martial arts and loves hiking and skiing. Geoff has five children and lives in Colorado.

23 thoughts on “It’s not easy being a Latter-day Saint…

  1. My mother and I had a similar discussion the other day. She compared when she was a kid in the 1940s-50s and all the changes that have occurred. I think there have been a lot of changes since I was a kid in the 1960s-70s. In both cases, we both agree ( for us) now the church has more expectations and the church culture is harder.

  2. Interesting observation. One way that I think it has become easier as compared is that there is more latitude in what we are required to believe. The lifting of the priesthood ban will always be the pivotal moment in my life. I left Utah a few years prior. I was so ashamed of the policy that I hid my religion from my African-American co-workers/friends (at least I thought I did). I knew that I would have to make a choice soon. So I guess I would have to say that for me, those few years before the lifting of the ban were the hardest.

  3. It’s a very interesting concept, JA. I think it is hard to judge because as I get older I’ve noticed that I tend to care less what others think.

  4. Interesting.
    The lifting of the priesthood ban will always be a pivotal point in my life as well. I knew Brigham Young was not a liar nor was he confused.
    It took me years of searching, praying, fasting, and gut-wrenching choices which resulted in my converting to fundamentalist Mormonism at age 53.
    My fight with fitting into the world and being accepted by co-workers, etc. has caused me much stress but I try and remember the prophet’s admonition:

    “There is nothing that would so soon weaken my hope and discourage me as to see this people in full fellowship with the world, and receive no more persecution from them because they are one with them. In such an event we might bid farewell to the Holy Priesthood, with all its blessings, privileges and aids to exaltations, principalities and powers in the eternities of the Gods.”

    My opinion only…mileage may vary.

  5. So Bruce..Let em get this straight you joined the FLDS over doctrine that is Southern Baptist in origin?

    Let me give you a bone to chew one for awhile… How about Joseph Smith giving Elijah Abel, a African AMerican man, and maybe other AA men the Priesthood?

    How about this one, my ancestors and my husband’s ancestors have been in the LDS Church since 1831 (for him) and 1832 (for both of us). Our last ancestors came to Utah in the 1860s ( for me) and 1870s (for him). We are both white in appearance, but we both have African ( North, South, East and West African) DNA. Actually DH Mike’s family looks mulatto. So we have more than “one drop” of Black blood. Our earliest ancestors were in the LDS Church BEFORE Brigham Young.

    I kinda think you need to go back and re-think the thing.

  6. Holy mackerel. Yes, let me help you get it straight.
    No, I am not FLDS, nor or the majority of fundamentalist Mormons. Where did you get that idea? I don’t even know any FLDS people.
    I converted after realizing that the Church was a divine, legitimate instituion but is, for now, out of order.
    Yes, Joseph Smith made mistakes. He had no rule book on how to usher in the final dispensation. Brigham Young, John Tayloer and others continued in the restoration and made things quite clear regading the black race.
    I don’t pretend to know God’s reasonings. I can only practice obedience and love.
    Blacks will be eligible to receive the priesthood when the founding prophets said they would. Not when S. Woolley Kimball sucumbs to political pressure.
    It’s not my law…it’s God’s law.

  7. All, this is not a discussion of the priesthood ban (not even mentioned in the original post). Bruce, this is a forum for believing Latter-day Saints, as in those who believe in our current prophets, seers and revelators. I’m sure you have a lot of interesting insights, but you may want to take them elsewhere.

  8. Let me start off by saying I believe the Gospel is true, but I also think the culture off the church is doing more damage than good by making mountains out of molehills and constantly heaping more social requirements on what defines a “good Mormon”. I do not think that is part of The Plan.

    I think what worked, or what would have worked, in the 70’s or 80’s is not necessarily the answer today. Let’s not just pile more on the members because the missionary movement needs a boost; instead, how about bringing in some serious forward-thinking ideas and revamp the knocking on doors and member referrals model we’ve been clinging to.

  9. Bruce- I have known a few FLDS and they have referred to themselves as Fundamentalist. Sorry to confuse your splinter group with that other splinter group.

    Sorry Geoff-I will try to control myself. There are a few issues that get my dander up.

    Gotta agree with CiCi.

  10. Cici, if your point is that the Church needs new ideas for doing missionary work, then I can tell you that the reality is there is huge room for people to institute new ideas within their individual wards, working either on their own or with their ward mission leader. I was the stake high councilor responsible for missionary work in a stake in South Florida, and if somebody had some new ideas, I would encourage them to implement them and move forward! Most ward mission leaders are open to that.

    My guess, however, based on your comment is that you’d rather not be bothered because you feel there are too many requirements on members already. I certainly can understand that — there are many times when I feel overwhelmed myself, and my calling is not that time-consuming, compared to many others. But here’s the problem: in your vision, the Church is kind of damned if it does and damned if it doesn’t. If it asks people to get more involved, then it’s overwhelming the members. If it doesn’t, well then it doesn’t have any new ideas. Do you see how those two positions are contradictory and problematic?

  11. My apologies Geoff. I did get off topic.

    I feel though that whether one is conservative Mormon, liberal Mormon, fundamentalist Mormon or whatever…there are indeed more pressures and requirements as the world becomes an ever-increasing place of opposition to gospel principles.
    On the other hand, when we get in “count our blessings” mode, we live in a time of such convienience that it makes up for it. For instance, I just took a hot shower. Kings and queens didn’t have such luxuries even a generation or two ago. We have air conditioned cars, comfortable clothes, a variety of healthy foods from all over the world, and things like vacations, health insurance, and this luxury of communicating with people around the world in real time.
    I don’t know but I’ll guess that if we could live a few days as our forefathers did, we really wouldn’t complain much.

    JA…my apologies. The media has been tarring all fundamentalist Mormons with the same brush since that mess in Texas and it’s become a sensitive subject. As believing latter day saints we have a lot more in common with each other than we do with other religions. We should probably just exercise a little more tolerance IMHO. I know I intend to.

  12. Geoff, I think CiCi’s experience is different than yours. One size does not fit all. Often times members in their zeal to show how righteous they are will invent even more stringent rules adn then try ot push it on everyone. For example, beards and mustaches. No where is it stated that you can not have a Temple Recommend if you have a beard or mustache. Some leaders think that it is, and will exert pressure onto members where there should be none.

    There is a lot of wasted time on a mission knocking on doors. Most people are not home during the day. Perhaps new and innovative ideas need to be tried out. SInce you are a WML you have had some success with a creative new idea. How do you let the higher ups know so it can be implemented elsewhere? What if you have a great idea, but are not in a leadership calling. If you suggest a new idea most likely it will be dismissed. I know that you would not do this, but not everyone is so open-minded.

  13. Joanna, I just wrote a long, very clever response and then accidentally deleted it. Sigh.

    So, to summarize, because I can’t bear the thought of re-writing that long response:

    1)Agreed on point one on beards and mustaches.
    2)The Church has done lots of studies on the most effective way to do missionary work. To summarize, the single most effective way is the whole “gospel sharing home” thing, which involves members inviting friends to their homes and then eventually to church. The Church is very aware that tracting doesn’t work, but the issue is, what do you do with missionaries all day long when people aren’t giving them referrals to go meet with? Missionaries don’t like tracting, they prefer to go to somebody’s house and meet with a member and their friend. But very, very, very few people give them referrals, so they go tracting. So, again, it is a “chicken or egg” dilemma — missionaries can’t do effective missionary work unless they get help from the members, but the members are all too busy, so they don’t help them, and then some members sit around complaining about how missionaries aren’t doing anything because they are tracting all day long. See my point?

    In terms of new ideas, the most effective way to pass along new ideas on missionary work is to talk to the ward mission leader and join the ward missionary council. That is the forum where ideas on missionary work are discussed. As for passing ideas onto the entire Church, well, there’s always…..a BLOG!!!! So, let’s hear some ideas so we can pass them along!!!!

  14. The tracting has concerned me ever since I attended a multi-council conference at Claremont Grad University. (They have the same set up with other religions as they do their Mormon Studies program). In our break out session, several of the participants said that they considered their home sacred space and entering it with a message that their religion wasn’t good enough was a violation. These were as Mormon friendly people as we are likely to find. Because we do teach that our homes are to be like temples, I think it is impossible to justify activity when seen in that light. I think new marketing strategies are long overdue.

  15. Juliann, so, let’s consider marketing strategies. The point is, “how do you get the word out about the Book of Mormon and the restored Gospel?” Well, the Church is on TV and on the radio. When people call in, they send missionaries out to give them free Bibles or Books of Mormon. The Church puts ads in newspapers and magazines. The Church hands out Books of Mormon at book fairs (I have done that myself). The Church is on the internet, with lots of Youtubes and other sources of information. How else do you market? Well, the most effective way by far is through word-of-mouth, ie, by members talking to their friends and inviting them to Church. Tracting doesn’t work nearly as well, but is used because not enough people are doing that word-of-mouth thing.

    How else would you get the word out? What could you do in your ward to let more people know about the Church?

  16. Geoff – the good news is you’re half right: The Church is damned if it does and damned if it doesn’t. I see that and I wish I had better answers, or at least ones that people would actually listen to. I’ve given my .02, and the usual answer is “the church wouldn’t be the same if we did it your way now would it?” or they use the old crutch “Salt Lake doesn’t do it like that” when actually there are stakes that do, they just think we don’t know about it!

    I’ve been in meetings where I’ve heard good ward mission ideas shot down by the very leaders who requested them and I’ve also seen good ideas implemented. You see I am not afraid of more work, I am just so uber-Ephraim that I HATE spinning my wheels. Pushing down on the gas isn’t going to get us anywhere when traction is needed first regardless of what program is under discussion. That is the point I was trying to make.

    In regards to the missionary effort, I’d love to see the Church look beyond just tracting, member referrals and my gospel sharing family and choose one other thing and become known as THE BEST at it using our wonderful missionary work force to garner worldwide recognition, and by association, contacts, Spirit-inspired questions, and converts. Because we’re out there doing something good in the world people will want to know more.

    What could that one thing be? Well, off the top of my head, we could take the Deseret Industry idea and run with it working to improve communities internationally. Or, we could step up a notch what we already do and be the first responders globally providing greater aid/rescue than we do now, working in between emergencies to improve poverty stricken areas of the world. Those are just two ideas, and they would require alot of work, and I for one am more than willing to put my shoulder to the wheel; I just want to be going somewhere when I push.

  17. Cici, those sound like good ideas to me. I’m 100 percent in favor of the Church’s emergency response efforts and service work. Did you know that for Katrina, we were by far the first people to respond in most communities? We had emergency supplies in Louisiana and Miss. just a few hours after the hurricane passed. I actually was a small part of that because my stake in Florida donated a bunch of trucks to carry supplies there, and then I organized (on behalf of my stake president) a service trip to Mississippi over a weekend. Those Southern Baptists used to slam their doors in the faces of the missionaries — after Katrina, they welcomed them in with open arms. So, you are 100 percent correct that service work is a major force for changes hearts.

  18. Geoff- I say let the local members deliver the books. The WML and the WM can teach the discussions to the people in the community. The new thing is for missionaries not to baptize. They are only supposed to teach. The ward needs to have people who have fellow-shipped the potential convert to the point that a ward member does the baptizing and confirmation. I think that we need a male missionary force to handle emergency situations in huge numbers.

    You know it just blows my mind that our missionary men are treated like children. In a hurricane scenario the missionary “children” are sent out of harms way. We have kept our adult children from growing up into adult men. For example, our son Elder Tex was in a community hit by Hurricane Ike. I got a hold of the MP to ask him if we could send a care package with work clothes for the missionaries in his district to help with the clean up efforts. His MP did not know what I was calling about. He starts his prepared speech (I am sure he repeated this speech a hundred times), about how our son was safely out of harms way. I replied, ” of course Elder Tex was safe. Tex is a trained solider in the US Army. He knows what to do in an emergency situation”. MP was stunned into silence. Elder Tex worked hard helping people for a few months in his district and then went back to being a missionary full time. He could not leave his district or mission to help in areas that were harder hit.

    My point being in another generation these “kids” would be men and would have been sent to the front lines. Now I don’t wish that on any young man especially mine, but our YM are capable of being a trained “army” of first responders instead of older men with families and weaker hearts and muscles ( with the exception of Geoff 😉 . If Uncle Sam can turn boys into men we can do it too. Let the Sister Missionaries and the local members handle the teaching and passing out the BofM.

  19. Geoff: “How else would you get the word out? What could you do in your ward to let more people know about the Church?”

    I’m actually more concerned with keeping them in…or at least giving them something beyond “pray about it” when they run into anti stuff. I got involved in online apologetics in the mid 90s and ended up starting FAIR. I think we are getting killed online so that is where I put my focus. If every member would just gently respond even once a week to inaccurate or ugly content it could have enormous impact. Members need to be educated in how to approach that and we are not doing that. I also think we aren’t doing near enough to attract blacks who could give the church a shot in the arm in the same manner as the first English/Scandanavian immigrants did.

  20. Juliann, great work with FAIR — I love it. I agree we are getting killed online. The antis have taken over the narrative in so many places. That’s one of the reasons we try to maintain M* as a place for faithful Latter-day Saints.

  21. This is one of two LDS blogs I have found (so far) that maintain a friendly and inclusive environment for faithful LDS while allowing frank discussion. I think that counts as a missionary tool.

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