Us vs. Them
Posted on September 26th, 2006 by Kevin Burtt (The Baron)
Within the Church, there are two groups of people: Us and Them.
Who are ‘Us’ and ‘Them’? Why, we are Us, and they are Them…and there are many fundamental differences between the two.
We struggle with many burdens and responsibilities inside and outside of our Church service, and are often asked to do things We are barely qualified for. We try our best even though we occasionally run into difficulties getting things done. They regularly show Themselves to be undependable at even the basic requirements of Their callings. Their sheer incompetence often leaves Us disappointed and angry. Why can’t They do a better job?
We feel lonely at times and seem to be constantly struggling with personal issues of some kind. It’d be nice to hear a friendly word or an offer to help on occasion. They seem only concerned with their OWN lives, their OWN problems. Why don’t They fellowship Us more?
We know that there are many things in the gospel We don’t fully understand, but we’re slowly learning and increasing our knowledge day by day. They seem completely clueless about basic doctrine and policy, embarrassing Themselves…and Us. Why are They so ignorant?
We struggle with sin and temptation and, although we’re not perfect (or close to it), we’re trying our best to live the commandments. They have such obvious character flaws and bad habits, We struggle to understand how a Church that claims to be ‘true’ can have such sinful people as Them trusted with important responsibilities. Why can’t They live the gospel better?
Sometimes the things We do offend and disappoint others–often without Us knowing–and We’re sorry. We depend on others being willing to communicate differences of opinion and forgive Our shortcomings so We can work things out. They rarely talk to Us at all, but just stand over there on the other side judging Us and criticizing Us from a distance. Don’t They know the Church is a hospital for the sick, not a museum of perfection? Why can’t They be more forgiving and less judgmental?
We know that despite our mistakes, deep down inside We are good people, and hope that others can see beyond our rough edges and give us–if nothing else–the benefit of the doubt. They make Us so mad with their poor attitudes and personal deficiencies, We sometimes have trouble sitting in the same chapel as Them. Why can’t They change? And why should We even continue going to church unless They do?
So…just who are ‘Us’ and who are ‘Them’?
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I had a mission companion that struggled with every comp he had. Before we ended up together he had gone to the MP three times requesting a transfer because of various problems with whoever he was with at the time. After we’d been together about a month, struggling to get along, he went to the MP and requested another transfer. The MP brought us both in and told him “If it’s always ‘they’ that is the problem, and never yourself, you are probably the ‘they’ and just don’t see it. He went on to explain that this Elder had been assigned to me because I was the opposite of the other Elders he’d struggled with, so if this didn’t work he’d need to consider going home. Things got better after that.
That’s what I try to remember when I start thinking about They, maybe if I’m having problems with Them, I’m part of the problem.
In the Bloggernacle, “Them” is all too often the leaders of the Church.
While the Church does have its problems, and there are things that I like to change in its bureaucracy and culture, I’d like to see less harsh criticism of, and more appreciation for, the Brethren. They’re not perfect, but they are doing an admirable job considering the difficult conditions under which they labor.
Good thought-provoking post. The first thought it provoked was:
Matt.7:3-5
… considering the difficult conditions under which they labor.
It could be worse (as our Gospel Doctrine class lesson pointed out with its mention of the story of Jonah this last week).
Having to put up with being inside a fish for 3 days, preaching to the city of Ninevah to tell them that in 40 days their number is up, and then they repent and there’s no big fire and brimstone payoff. Now, those are difficult conditions under which one might labor.
The doctrine of Christ is that in the eternities, we are all us. No thems (generally speaking).
That is one of the most profound passages in all of scripture. It is worth noting that doctrine is self correcting for errors in judgment.
I’m not too sure who are ‘Them’. But this I am sure about:
1) They most often consider themselves to be ‘Us’
2) They consider us sometimes to be ‘Them’
It’s all probably a matter of proper judgement. When anyone looks at what others do without knowing why they do it that way, it’s all too easy to place them in the ‘Them’ group.
I tend to think most people would like to do better if we could. And yet, I must confess, I also tend to get frustrated when I see how badly things get done some times…
This helps:
“For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God. To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby.” D&C 46:11-12
I think I may be ‘them’ … at least when I’m in considering myself as ‘one of us’.
David Berreby has written a book that might bear on this question: Us and Them: Understanding Your Tribal Mind.
Kevin, you have hit on one of the key issues of all organizations, from the Church to the business world to sports. The key, it appears to me, is to move from “Us vs. Them” to “We.” You would not believe how many seminars, meetings, e-mails, presentations, etc. get done in the business world to try to break down such barriers, because everybody understands that US vs. THEM thinking just leads to disputations, contention, paralysis and inefficiency. I think the same thing applies to the Church.
It is worth remembering that contention is of the devil (3 Nephi 11:29). Satan loves to promote the “us vs. them” way of looking at things and does not like it when we move to a united “we” way of thinking. This is one of the reasons it is so interesting that President Faust believes the Church leadership is more united now than ever before.
The current US administration has certainly taken the Us vs. Them to heart =)
Mark, interesting you see it that way for the eternities. Many members I know would say that it’s Us in the Celestial Kingdom and Them in all the others.
Tea, is you had a better understanding of the Gospel, you would perhaps understand that members of the Church want everybody to be part of Us for the eternities. The policy is entirely inclusive rather than exclusive, as you imply.
Tea,
Allow me to quote Joseph Smith on this issue:
In other words, though the unrepentant will indeed suffer severely in the spirit world, at least for a time, they may be saved on the same conditions as all the others, though the process is apparently more difficult there.
Here is Joseph Smith again, from the same sermon, repeating the same doctrine with additional details:
This is a gospel of near-universal salvation, not a gospel of near-universal damnation. But no one shall be saved on any other conditions than the ones which have been provided.
Mark I don’t see how your quotes change the concept of Us vs. Them unless you are saying that ulitmately everyone will be in the Celestial Kingdom and we will all be one big Us. If that’s the case (?!) when we are all exalted then there will be no more Us vs. Them, but not before that.
Geoff B, I am not failing to recognize that we desire Them to be with Us (in whatever context–not just a Gospel one like Kevin mentions) but the scriptures say such unity isn’t going to happen, here or in heaven. In any situation where a division occurs there will be some who cannot see past an Us vs. Them. If it makes you feel better, flip it and say it’s Us in the lower kingdoms and Them in the Celestial one. Maybe it won’t sound so haughty and exclusive that way.
Tea, In a way we are a big Us already, that is why we preach the gospel to all nations.
Not all of the residents of the celestial kingdom are exalted, at least not at first. Pre-mortal spirits generally reside in the celestial world, and they have not even been born on the earth yet. So also do those who died in the age of infancy, who certainly are not exalted overnight - it takes longer without a mortal body.
The exalted are the rulers in the celestial kingdom, meaning they have risen to a state of moral perfection such they are full members in the quorum of the anointed, and bear the name of Christ in its fulness, as fathers and mothers to their own eternal posterity.
There are and will be unmarried heirs of the celestial world who will be ministering angels unto and on behalf of those worthy of a more lasting and eternal weight of glory.
That said, I understand Joseph Smith to say that it is the Lord’s plan to bring virtually everyone into a degree of celestial glory in the process of time. That is the only degree where there is eternal life. I understand telestial and terrestrial worlds to be strictly temporal estates - no lasting inheritance can be found there. i.e. this world is a telestial one, and it will end in a few years, and shall be receive its paradisaical glory, and become a terrestrial world for the duration of the Millennial era, and then it shall be raised again, to celestial glory, whereupon those worthy from this estate shall receive an everlasting inheritance and an eternal life of some kind.
A secondary work of redemption will occur in the post-mortal spirit world to prepare all those who will repent to inherit salvation and everlasting life, according to the conditions prepared for such, which is obedience to the principles and ordinances of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Those who are so stubborn as to refuse to abide by a celestial law at the last day will inherit a kingdom which is not a kingdom of glory. But they shall be a small minority of the persons who are here on the earth, all of whom kept their first estate.
A “small minority” would still constitute a Them, no?
Yes. Sons of perdition (who are enemies to all righteousness) definitely constitute an eternal them. Some early authorities understood the second death in terms of actual annihilation. However the doctrine of eternal intelligences seems to indicate that such a second death would be more like returning to the state that immediately preceded spirit birth, as a literal “no-body”. Either way, there is no promise of salvation for such, under any conditions whatsoever.
And sufficiently wicked persons (temporary enemies to righteousness) constitute a temporal them, but there is a plan of redemption for almost all of those (cf. D&C 138:57-60), so we should never give up prematurely. Some of the Gadiantons repented on hearing the gospel, right?